The Direct to Video Connoisseur

I'm a huge fan of action, horror, sci-fi, and comedy, especially of the Direct to Video variety. In this blog I review some of my favorites and not so favorites, and encourage people to comment and add to the discussion. For announcements and updates, don't forget to Follow us on Twitter and Like our Facebook page. If you're the director, producer, distributor, etc. of a low-budget feature length film and you'd like to send me a copy to review, you can contact me at dtvconnoisseur[at]yahoo.com. I'd love to check out what you got. And check out my book, Chad in Accounting, over on Amazon.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Bloodsport 2: The Next Kumite (1996)

I found out as I was doing research for this film that it is in fact not direct to video. It grossed over $600,000. I wrestled with the dilemma of reviewing it anyway for over five minutes, before I just decided, what the hell.

Bloodsport 2: The Next Kumite is about Daniel Bernhardt as Alex Cardo (the same character as in Bloodsport 3, but not 4, even though all three are played by Bernhardt), a master thief sold down the river by his partner after stealing the late Pat Morita's katana. In prison, Bernhardt meets James Hong, who teaches him the Iron Hand after he sees him get his ass kicked by vicious prison guard Demon, played by Ong Soo Han. The point of Hong teaching Bernhardt is so he can fight in the kumite and win it for him. Some strings are pulled by Morita to get Bernhardt out so he can retrieve the sword: it's the grand prize in the kumite. The delightful "Tiny" Don Gibb, who got his ass kicked by Bolo Yeung in the first Bloodsport, returns to reprise the role no one really gave a shit about.

Bernhardt has to balance dealing for the sword from his old partner and winning the contest, and the whole thing almost blows up on him when he gets the sword, but is slashed in the ab by it too. Oh yeah, and his final opponent in the kumite is Demon, just 'cause.


This film is ten shades of hilarious. Dialogue is strung together in this unnatural manner that gives one the impression of 8th grade theater. There's a great scene where Bernhardt starts a conversation with some guy who's a "Street Fighter," and the useless Tiny lectures him on not talking to the fellow fighters. Why, I have no idea, because they all end up being friends two scenes later. There's also a guy who fights Bernhardt, loses to him, then helps him win by being his corner man or something. Bernhardt's getting his ass kicked, and the guy yells "Do you want to beat him? Then attack him on his left side!" and Bernhardt's response is to slam his hands on the mat like he's just been told to go clean his room, even though he gets up and wins the fight.

James Hong makes it to the final battle, and he reminds Bernhardt when fighting Demon to use the Iron Hand. Also, a shaking water pail reminds him too. I'm just not sure you could make a spoof of fight films better than Bloodsport 2. I really didn't get why Bernhardt needed to have his ab slashed for the fight. I think beating Demon would've been enough for the audience. Making him win with a deep, potentially fatal, open wound is just pushing the audiences credulity--even for bad action.


But I think all that makes this ridiculous is what makes it endearing. As a viewer, it's great to see every cliche utilized to its utmost. When playing the bad action movie drinking game, a film like this really gets everyone wasted pretty quick. It's filled with great material to mock. If I were to make an action film, I'd borrow a lot from how this was made.

If you've seen either Bloodsport or the MST3K episode of Future War, this is well worth your time. You should be able to buy it for like $5. I've seen it listed on TV too, but not recently. This is also the perfect rental for a bad movie night. You really can't go wrong with it.

For more info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112536/

Looking for more action? Check out my short action novel, Bainbridge, and all my other novels, over at my author's page! Click on the image below, go to https://www.matthewpoirierauthor.com/


No comments:

Post a Comment